The salmon canapés were just an excuse to keep my hands busy as I stood in the kitchen, piping herb butter in swirling spirals onto bread slices. The scent of dill and lemon mingled with the dull thudding in my chest. I felt my fingers tremble slightly as I set the knife aside and arranged the finished bites on a platter. Every movement was deliberately slow, almost meditative, to tame the rising nervousness.
“Lena, the guy’s here.” Felix’s voice sounded thick, almost hoarse. I wiped my hands on my apron and stepped into the living room, where the floor lamp cast yellow islands of light onto the parquet. There he stood: tall, broad-shouldered, with a smile that seemed too perfect. “Hi, I’m Jonas.” His voice had a warm bass that vibrated in my belly. Felix stood next to him, a head shorter, his shoulders tensed up to his ears. He had his arms crossed, as if he needed to hold himself together.
It had been Felix’s idea. “I want to see you with another man,” he’d said three weeks ago, after we’d snuggled on the couch with a glass of red wine. “Not just in a movie. I want to experience it for real.” I’d laughed, thought he was crazy. But then he’d kept pushing, again and again, until a joke became a plan. We looked for someone discreet, unattached, who understood the game. Jonas replied to an ad in a forum. He sounded nice, uncomplicated, and he knew it was just a game. One evening, a boundary experience, then everyone goes their own way.
Now, with the third glass of sparkling wine in my blood, everything felt unreal. The party was small: a few friends of Felix’s from the gym, two colleagues of mine. They sat in the living room, laughing about something, while I stood in the kitchen with Jonas and Felix. Felix refilled, his hand trembling slightly. “Cheers,” Jonas said, clinking glasses with us. His eyes were dark brown, almost black, and they rested on me as if nothing else in the room existed.
“So, how does this work now?” I asked, to fill the silence. Felix cleared his throat. “We agreed on a signal. If I run my hand through my hair… then…” He faltered. I saw his Adam’s apple bob. “Then I’ll leave you alone.” Jonas nodded slowly. “And you stay here and watch.” He didn’t say it as a question, but as a statement. Felix nodded.
It was strange how quickly the other guests left. One by one they said goodbye, until only the three of us sat in the living room. Felix put on some quiet music, something with a heavy bass. Jonas had sat down next to me on the sofa, Felix in the armchair opposite. I felt Jonas’s closeness, the warmth radiating from him. His thigh touched mine as he leaned forward to put his glass on the table. The scent of his aftershave, woody with a hint of citrus, rose into my nose and mixed with the alcohol in my blood.
“I’ve been thinking,” Felix said slowly, “maybe… we can just talk first.” Jonas laughed softly. “Sure. But time’s ticking.” He looked at me. “You’re beautiful, Lena. Really.” His hand landed on my knee, light, almost tender. Felix stared at it, mesmerized. I felt the warmth of his fingers through the thin fabric of my dress, and a shiver ran down my back. I took a deep breath, the alcohol humming in my veins, amplifying every sensation.
Jonas’s hand moved higher, over my thigh, under the hem of my dress. I wasn’t wearing anything underneath, Felix and I had agreed on that. “Easy access,” he’d said, grinning. Now I felt Jonas’s fingers on my bare skin, and I saw Felix clench his hands together. “Is this okay?” Jonas asked softly. I nodded, and a quiet “Yes” escaped me. Felix ran his hand through his hair. The signal.
Jonas leaned in and kissed me. His mouth was soft, demanding, his tongue found mine. I tasted sparkling wine and salt and something that was just him. Felix moaned softly, I heard it despite the music. Jonas’s hand pushed my dress up, baring me. I leaned back, let him have his way. He kissed my neck, my shoulders, while his fingers slid between my legs. I was wet, ready, my skin burning under his touch. “You taste good,” he murmured against my skin, and I felt his smile.
I opened my eyes and saw Felix. He had leaned forward, elbows on his knees, gaze fixed on us. His hand rested on his crotch, he pressed his thighs together. On his face, I read a mix of arousal and torment. Exactly what he wanted. I felt a wave of power, but also something else, something that made me feel Jonas all the more intensely. I grabbed Jonas’s hair, pulled him closer, demanded more.
Jonas pulled me up, led me to the rug in front of the fireplace. The fire had burned down to embers, their reddish glow casting shadows on our bodies. He laid me down on the fluffy pile, his body over me, heavy and warm. He kissed me again, while his hand stripped off my dress completely. I lay naked before him, before Felix. The cool air on my skin made me shiver, but Jonas’s warmth covered me. Jonas sat up, knelt between my legs, and I watched him undo his belt. Felix breathed audibly, in gasps. I heard the soft click of the buckle, the rustle of fabric as Jonas opened his pants.
“Do you want it?” Jonas asked, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at Felix. Felix nodded, swallowed. “Yes. Go on.” Jonas smiled, a thin, knowing smile. Then he pushed into me. I felt him, hard, demanding, filling me. A deep sigh escaped me, a sound that was half pain, half pleasure. Felix moaned along, as if he were the one being thrust into.
Jonas moved slowly, rhythmically, his hands on my hips. He leaned forward, whispered in my ear: “Look at him. Look how he suffers.” I turned my head. Felix had unzipped his pants, wrapped his hand around his cock, and was stroking himself in time with Jonas’s thrusts. His eyes were glazed, his mouth open, a thin string of saliva running over his chin. He was close, I could see it. His movements became more frantic, more desperate. “Come for him,” Jonas said, thrusting harder. I felt the tension building inside me, a hot knot tightening. My breath caught, and then it crashed over me: a wave of pleasure flooding through me, making my body shudder in waves. I cried out as I came, my body quaking under Jonas. Felix moaned loudly, and I saw him spill into his hand, white drops on his belly.
Jonas let himself fall forward, still inside me, breathing heavily. He kissed my shoulder, my neck. “Good girl,” he murmured. Felix leaned back in his chair, his chest heaving, his hand still loosely around his softening cock. The room was silent except for our breathing. The embers crackled softly. I lay on the rug, feeling the warmth of Jonas on me, the stickiness between my thighs, the weight of what had just happened settling into my bones. Felix’s eyes found mine, and in them, I saw a strange peace, a satisfaction that went beyond the physical. He had gotten what he wanted.
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